image: bisexual flag with polyamoury symbol (heart with an infinity symbol around it), adapted with rainbow colours
text:
it feels impossible that any lesbian
could (or would) love me
because i’m married to a man
Okay peoples, if you at least read the text given by the queer secrets person, you would have realized that the symbol on top of the heart is a queer polyamorous symbol. And if you didn’t knew what that was, you could have taken it as an opportunity to educate yourself. www.lovemore.com Poly=being able to date and/or fall in love with more than one person at the same time with the knowledge and consent of all parties involved. i.e. not an affair, not cheating, etc. And being romantically involved with more than one person take A LOT of love and commitment. And people who are poly and also happen to be bisexual get shit for “wanting to date one of each sex just because they’re attracted to both sexes.” That’s really not always how it works. There are bi people who are dating more than one person of a particular gender, too. There are also plenty of bisexuals who aren’t poly, and there are plenty of poly people who are only attracted to one sex (straight and gay/lesbian people) and are dating multiple people, but there’s no “clever” comment you can say about their sexual orientation in regard to their relationship decisions. So you’re really just spewing biphobia while remaining ignorant of polyamory and acting as if polyamory is sinful (while more conservatives say that everything and everyone within the LGBT community is sinful), even though at least poly people are making an informed decision based on love and commitment instead of blindly following a heteronormative system. (not that you can’t make an well-informed, truly educated decision to be monogamous, though).
Anyways, less than half of all poly people are bi, which means a lot of others are heterosexual and gay/lesbian. There are plenty of lesbian poly people in which would date the submitter. Sure, there is plenty prejudice among lesbians in regard to bisexual women, but less so in the polyamorous community. And even though there is some prejudice among some lesbian poly women, who cares, there are plenty of other poly lesbians who are cool with you having a husband and there are plenty of bisexual poly women as well. You don’t need to date a lesbian in order to date a woman, remember that.
Source: queersecrets
This makes me so fucking mad. Read this and be enraged with me!
***This is a 2005 study that will make you (bisexuals) angry and we should stop talking about because it was poorly done (read below my opinions on why) and it was redone more accurately and actually comes to the conclusion that bisexual men exist***
No Surprise for Bisexual Men: Report Indicates they Exist
Why the 2005 study sucks:
1) I wonder where they got these self-identified bisexual men from…gay clubs maybe? Not, from a wide-range of places that have nothing to do with the gay community? Bisexual men who are only in relationships with men, maybe? Not self-identified bi men who are also in relationships and marriages with women? In fact, they got them from gay and alternative newspapers. Yeah, not bisexual newspapers, but gay ones (there’s really no such thing as bi newspapers, though our community has been trying). And “LGBT” newspapers are still just gay newspapers. Yeah, there’s not much equality even within the LGBT community.
2) How many men did they even use in this study? Even the article states that more men need to be included within this study to have an official conclusion. So what was the point of even such an article being published? Because they can. People write articles all the time about studies that have no scientific conclusion, but the articles are written in such a way that makes it seem like the study has a scientific conclusion. It’s simply just something to write about. In fact, only 33 self-identified bisexual men were used in this study. Are you fucking kidding me!? That isn’t even close to enough people to state anything about anything in a scientific study.
3) How did they define bisexuality? Oh, you mean, the men didn’t say “I’m bisexual”? They just said “I’m a kinsey 2,” “I’m a kinsey 3,” “I’m a kinsey 4.” Well, just because someone says they’re a Kinsey 2, 3 or 4 doesn’t mean they identify as bisexual. In fact, some Kinsey 2s may identify as straight and some Kinsey 4s may identify as gay. (Conversely, some Kinsey 1s may identify as bisexual, and some Kinsey 5s may identify as bisexual). People do not need to be equally attracted to men and women, and do not need to be equally arousable via porn to men and women to determine whether or not they are truly bisexual. Is there even such a thing as being truly straight? or truly gay? Why yes, there are Kinsey 0s and Kinsey 6s, but why were straight and homosexual people identifying as anything other than 0 or 6? Isn’t there much more variety and overlap than three distinct categories? Hence, the Kinsey scale, that was even used in this study.
4) I didn’t realize that only involving males in studies determined conclusions we can make about human beings.
5) I didn’t realize that the only way and most accurate way to determine sexual attraction was by measuring how erect a man got. Men can become erect when being raped by a woman or another man, whether gay, straight or bisexual, and truly not wanting the experience, that doesn’t define their sexual orientation nor does it define whether or not they actually wanted sex with that person.
6) I didn’t realize that the only way and most accurate way to determine sexual attraction was by measuring how erect a man got from porn. As a bisexual woman, I don’t get aroused by every sex scene I see (between any variant of genders; male-male, male-female, female-female), but that doesn’t mean I’m not bisexual. Sometimes they’re too violent, (for others, not violent enough), sometimes they are things I’m not into, sometimes I’m not attracted to the people at hand (blondes vs. brunettes, race, height, body type, lipstick lesbian vs. bull dyke and the great number of gender differences in between, macho man vs. sensitive guy and the great number of gender differences in between, etc.). There are so many variables besides what sex the person is in a porno, and that can affect someone’s state of arousal. In addition, as a bisexual woman, if you showed a video of women having sex with each other vs. men having sex with each other, I’m more likely to be aroused by the women. Why? not because I’m more attracted to women than men, but because I AM a woman, and I can imagine me being one of them. That doesn’t mean I’m gay, it just means I’m a bisexual WOMAN. So it makes sense for bisexual men to be more into the men having sex than women having sex, they’re not women. And of course straight men are more aroused by women having sex with each other than bisexual men; the straight men don’t need to see them being involved within it. (Straight) men, sadly, see women’s sexuality as property of men…why else would men get turned on by lesbians? (they think they can still get action from them even though that’s not how lesbianism works). Bisexual men are more knowledgeable about the LGBT community, sexual orientation, and because of that would never try to get with lesbians.
7) This study also treats men as animals; that they should be aroused at any given time, no matter what, by something they’re attracted to. I’m sorry, but sometimes people are on medication that lowers their sex drive, people get depressed, people have stress in their lives, relationship or family problems…just because someone is attracted to a particular sex or gender does not mean they will always get aroused when being shown a porno. Not to mention all of the variables within the actual porno that could affect whether or not someone does not become aroused to a gender they are attracted to, stated above. In fact, “1/3 of the men in each group (Kinsey 0s & 1s, Kinsey 2s, 3s, and 4s, and Kinsey 5s & 6s) showed no significant arousal watching the movies.” So you mean, of the 33 bisexual men used, only about 22 were actually used to show results, an even more ridiculously low study group.
8) Why are we taking opinions from gay men about bisexual men? There is a long history of biphobia in the gay community, especially among gay men.
9) “Research on sexual orientation has been based almost entirely on self-reports, and this is one of the few good studies using physiological measures,” said Dr. Lisa Diamond, an associate professor of psychology and gender identity at the University of Utah, who was not involved in the study. First of all, this isn’t true. Most studies try to use this horribly inaccurate method of testing one’s sexual attraction (by measuring erection); this isn’t a new method and it’s not a good study (read #1-8). Not to mention, that Lisa Diamond does tons of studies on women’s sexuality and finds that sexuality is fluid, some women who previously identified as straight, identify as bisexual, and some women who previously identified as gay, identify as bisexual, and vice versa for both the former and latter. She would not claim that bisexuality does not exist and would agree with the variety and overlap of the Kinsey scale; this does not mean that bisexuality as a stable sexual orientation does not exist; if that was your conclusion, your conclusion would also have to be that heterosexuality and homosexuality are also not stable sexual orientations. Overlap between the three sexual orientations does not mean that none or any of the three sexual orientations do not exist.
10) The most accurate study so far, done 6 years later (and too much later, if you ask me), despite using this horrible technique of measuring male erections after watching pornos, used self-identified bisexual men who have had long-term sexual relationships with both men and women (at least 2 of each, at least 3 months each) and were not found in gay clubs. This much better study took into account some important variables that other studies have not bothered to do so. Not surprisingly, this is the only study that actually did come to the conclusion that bisexual men exist, not from just an life-long identity standpoint, but from a physiological one. All of the self-identified bisexual men in this study were found be bisexual via the definition of being equally physically aroused (measurement of penis erection) by both men and women from watching pornos. Does this mean that the bisexual men they didn’t use in this study, because they didn’t make the cut, aren’t bisexual? Of course not, it just means that they have not had the experiences/opportunity to have both 2 male and 2 female 3-month plus long-term sexual relationships and may or may not be more attracted to men or women over the other. Bisexuality can technically be anywhere from a Kinsey 1 to a Kinsey 5. Bisexuality may be considered more likely to be between a Kinsey 2 and a Kinsey 4, but it’s up to the individual whether or not they want to identify as bisexual, and only the individual knows who they’re attracted to. At the end of the day, scientists are happy that they were able to accurately test the existence of male bisexuality within labs, and the bisexual community is also happy so we can stop being told that we don’t exist, but that doesn’t mean that measuring ones penis after watching a porno is the only way or best way to see who is and who is not bisexual.
Perhaps, start learning from bisexuals, the bisexual community, bisexual leaders and activists. We wouldn’t be fighting so hard for something that didn’t exist.
Source: biconfessions
Girl Scout Cookie Anti-Boycott (Buycott)
Recently, there has been contriversy in the Girl Scouts of America because a Colorado based Troop admitted a transgender girl into their Troop. Their decision has caused three Louisiana Troop leaders to resign and has prompted a California Girl Scout to make a YouTube video calling for a boycott on Girl Scout Cookies.
She wants the Girl Scouts to know that America is not happy with Transgendered people, and we NEED to prove her wrong. Whether you are Gay, Straight, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersexed, Pansexual doesn’t matter. If you are a friend to the LGBT community, buy Girl Scout Cookies this year. Please, your friends need your support.
Gathering of the Bi Clan: Bisexual, Pansexual, Fluid Institue at Creating Change
Yet despite CC’s (Creating Change) nearly 30 years of existence as a Brigadoon of queer leadership togetherness and training, this will be only the third consecutive time the gathering has hosted a bi “institute” — a one-day pre-CC conclave, and it’s one of the few times the CC has had several bi-identified workshops at the same location.
Why is that? Why is it that even after more than 40 years since the modern gay movement exploded into being during the Stonewall Riots, it’s only now that bi people are beginning to be more visible at CC, let alone the rest of (American) society?
Well, it could be because bi people were too timid or shy, too non-insistent, too chameleon-like (gay in gay setting, straight in straight situations), too unsure or too scorned and rejected, and/or we were insistent — and shown the door, or not even allowed through the door.
Research Participants Needed! San Francisco Bay Area, Adult Women, First Sexual Experience with another Woman in Last 5 Years.
I’m passing this on for a friend because I do not qualify…repost if you don’t either to spread the word!
Hi,
I am looking for people to participate in the research I am doing for my psychology doctorate. Please read to see if you or someone you know might qualify and be willing to do an interview with me. It is very hard to find participants, so all the help I can get is greatly appreciated.
I am looking for WOMEN who are over 18 in the SAN FRANCISCO BAY AREA (within 2 hrs driving) who have had their FIRST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE with another WOMAN in the LAST 5 YEARS.
Interviews so far have been very positive for participants, 45-90 minutes, and I can offer a gift of appreciation of $20.
If you or someone you know might qualify and be willing to participate, please give them my contact info and encourage them to contact me for more information. I can be contacted via facebook or email: ngintel@gmail.com.
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
Happy New Year’s everyone and thanks again,
Natasha
Y-Axis: 0-10 = # of genders one is attracted to; 10=infinity
X-Axis: Non-monosexual sexual identities; queer, fluid, heteroflexible, homoflexible, gay/lesbian-identified non-monosexual, bisexual/bi-romantic, polysexual/poly-romantic, pansexual/pan-romantic
Red=maximum number of genders one can be attracted to
Blue=minimum number of genders one can be attracted to
(Not Shown on Graph: primary number of genders one is attracted to with a particular sexual identity; also, not necessarily possible to find data for, for most identities)
NON-MONOSEXUAL PSA
There are a lot of words people adopt who are non-monosexual…probably because sexuality is fluid and complex, not easily simplified, no one person is the same, and there is a lot of discrimination and confusion toward/about non-monosexuals from monosexuals (straight and gay/lesbian individuals).
Some of these identities include but are not necessarily limited to:
Queer, Fluid, Heteroflexible, Homoflexible, Gay/Lesbian-Identified Non-Monosexual, Bisexual/Bi-Romantic, Polysexual/Poly-Romantic, and Pansexual/Pan-Romantic
Personally, I consider the term bisexual not just as one of many non-monosexual identities, but I feel it can also be used as an umbrella term. Much like trans* can mean trans, transgender, transsexual, genderqueer, bigender, androgyne, gender-neutral, etc., bi* can be used to describe bisexual, pansexual, polysexual, queer, fluid, heteroflexible, homoflexible, etc. individuals. I hope this can become a trend that brings together non-monosexuals while keeping sacred our different personal identities.
Anywho, people seem to get really caught up on etymology, and start to confuse, mix-up, change and degrade some (or all) non-monosexual identities. It’s understandable that it may be confusing…I mean, one person with a certain identity may have completely different experiences as another person with that same identity. Everyone has their own reasons for identifying with a particular label, and we should respect that. We should also respect that just because one person feels one way about what their sexual identity means, doesn’t mean that all people with that sexual identity feels the same way or can’t feel another way.
To help people understand, monosexuals and non-monosexuals alike, what each non-monosexual sexual identity could mean, I made a visual chart. On the Y-axis (vertical axis), the numbers represent genders; 0-10. 0 means no genders. 10 means infinity genders. Each number in-between is self-explanatory. On the X-axis (horizontal axis), there are common non-monosexual sexual identities (Queer, Fluid, Heteroflexible, Homoflexible, Gay/Lesbian-Identified Non-Monosexual, Bisexual/Bi-Romantic, Polysexual/Poly-Romantic, and Pansexual/Pan-Romantic). The blue part of the bar shows the minimum number of genders in which someone can be attracted to with a particular sexual identity. The red part of the bar shows the maximum number of genders in which someone can be attracted to with a that same sexual identity. Like I said, a minimum and maximum number of genders one can be attracted to while using the same sexual identity as someone else is important to relay because not every single person who shares a particular sexual identity are necessarily attracted to the same number of genders, even though that is what some sexual identities may be based upon.
The term queer is a vague term and can be used by asexuals, gays, lesbians, and bisexuals and any other non-monosexual. I made sure I used it in my chart, because while it is not specific as a non-monosexul identity, many non-monosexuals identify as queer in addition to and often times instead of any other non-monosexual term. Someone using the label queer could be described as asexual, which is why I put the minimum gender attraction as 0. Queer is also used by a lot of non-monosexuals and non-monosexuals can potentially be attracted to infinity number of genders (not to mention that the term queer is very vague in regard to what genders/how many genders someone is attracted to), which is why 10 (representing infinity in this chart) is the maximum gender attraction.
The term fluid is also a vague term, but it is a vague term only used by non-monosexuals which is why the minimum gender attraction was decided at 2. And because fluid is a term used by non-monosexuals, and is a vague term that does not describe how many genders one can be attracted to, the maximum potential gender attraction is infinity.
The term heteroflexible is a term used by people who are not necessarily non-monosexual or do not necessarily identify with non-monosexuality, but are heterosexuals who recognize their non-monosexual tendencies. I could have place heteroflexibles’ minimum gender attraction at 1 gender, but individuals using this label recognize their tendency to sometimes be attracted to at least 2 genders, which is why I place 2 as the minimum. I recognize, and ask you to do so as well, that while heteroflexible individuals are primarily attracted to 1 gender, their minimum potential, as people identifying with this label, is 2 genders. Also, while heteroflexible people are less likely to be attracted to infinity genders, compared to other non-monosexuals, it is a potential, because there is really no way to say how/with whom the mostly straight person is straying toward. Because of this, I refuse to cut them short of this potential.
The term homoflexible is a term used by people who are not necessarily non-monosexual or do not necessarily identify with non-monosexuality, but are gay/lesbian individuals who recognize their non-monosexual tendencies. Again, I could have place homoflexibles’ minimum gender attraction at 1 gender, but individuals using this label recognize their tendency to sometimes be attracted to at least 2 genders, which is why I place 2 as the minimum. While homoflexible individuals are primarily attracted to 1 gender, their minimum potential, as people identifying with this label, is 2 genders. Also, while homoflexible people are less likely to be attracted to infinity genders, though probably more likely compared to heteroflexibles, it is a potential, because there is really no way to say how/with whom the mostly gay/lesbian person is straying toward. Because of this, I refuse to cut them short of this potential.
The term gay/lesbian-identified non-monosexual simply means that a person who is non-monosexual or sometimes non-monosexual chooses to identify as gay or lesbian instead. This may or may not be similar to homoflexibility for some, but can also be a bi* person/non-monosexual who chooses to identify as gay/lesbian for political reasons, social reasons, or because the individual is primarily attracted to the same-gender as opposed to others. (disclaimer: while most people who identify as gay or lesbian are only attracted to the same gender, there are many bi* people who choose to identify as gay/lesbian for various reasons. I am not saying that gay/lesbian people are actually non-monosexuals.) I could have placed these gay/lesbian-identified people with a minimum gender attraction at 1 gender, but individuals using this label choose it over a non-monosexual identity despite being non-monosexual, which is why I placed 2 as the minimum. While Gay/lesbian-identified non-monosexuals’ identity label does not convey it, they are in fact behaviorally/mentally/and/or emotionally non-monosexual, and therefore have the potential to be attracted to infinity genders.
The above sexual identities can be vague and non-specific about how many genders one can be attracted to, but I feel as though I made an accurate stance on their potential. The following sexual identities are more specific with how many genders one is or can be attracted to based on their sexual identity.
The term bisexual (or bi-romantic) means that someone is attracted to more than one gender and/or is attracted to people of the same gender as themselves and people of different genders of themsevles. This is a definition that most bisexual activists and organizations use, despite the etymology of bi meaning two. Remember, the word bisexual was first created as a way for non-monosexuals to be differentiated from gay and lesbian individuals within the sexual minority movement. A word created in opposition of the binary view of sexual orientation (heterosexuality vs. homosexuality) may seem to be binaryist, but it was the system in which it arose. Either way, bisexuals always promoted the idea that “loves knows no gender,” and never actually said that we were capable of only being attracted to two genders, so we should all probably drop that false notion. So the minimum gender attraction (“more than one gender”) is 2, and the maximum gender attraction (“attraction to people of the same gender and of different genders”) is infinity.
The term polysexual (or poly-romantic) means that someone is attracted to multiple genders. Multiple, as in, three or more. So the minimum gender attraction (“multiple’) is 3, and the maximum gender attraction (not necessarily just three, or four, or five…) is infinity.
The term pansexual (or pan-romantic) means that someone is attracted to all genders or regardless of gender. All genders, as in, infinity genders. I could have put the minimum gender attraction as infinity, but I decided to put it as infinity minus 1. Why? Mostly to give people a little wiggle room, and because making the graph otherwise would have been tricky. But of course the maximum gender attraction is once again, infinity. While all non-monosexuals, regardless of their sexual identity, have the potential to be attracted to infinity genders, pansexuality is the only sexual identity that is primarily attracted to all genders and/or specifically stating such as fact.
I hope that through examining non-monosexual identities, definitions and their potential minimum and maximum gender attractions, you realize that the many non-monosexuals identities, while different, do have much overlap. And because of this, someone who identifies with one identity can identify with another one, and still be accurate (not that it’s anyone’s business what they choose to identify as in the first place). For example, just because someone identifies as queer doesn’t mean they can’t also identify as fluid, or bisexual. Another point I would like to make, specifically, is the overlap with the terms bisexual, polysexual and pansexual. It is possible for someone to be bisexual but not polysexual or pansexual. It is possible for someone to be bisexual and polysexual but not pansexual. It is possible for someone to be bisexual, polysexual and pansexual. Why? Because check out that graph I made with the minimum gender and maximum gender attraction of each sexual identity. It is non-monosexuals’ realities. Also, just to state the obvious, even though all non-monosexual identities on this chart with the exception of queer, polysexual and pansexual had the same minumum and maximum number of gender attraction does not mean that all of these sexual identities have the same definition, description or usage; not all non-monosexual sexual identities definitions rely on the number of genders in which one is attracted to. Non-monosexual is non-monosexual is non-monosexual. At the end of the day, who are you to say who someone can and can not be attracted to? (Seriously, re-read the gay/lesbian-identified monosexual section again.)
I hope you enjoy and reblog!
A Short Message to the Lesbian & Gay Communities from Fencesitter Films
FenceSitter Films and all Bisexual folks around the world have one very simple request for the LGT world for 2012 and beyond.
(a 15 second film)
Bigender.net
For those who are not necessarily cisgender, but don’t feel transgender either.
For those who identify as masculine and feminine, at the same time, or at different times, without being constrained as only feeling one way or the other.
For those who identify as both man and woman and perhaps something in between. (as opposed to only feeling male, or only feeling female, or only feeling a mixture of both at all times or only feeling neither at all times).
For those who experience both dysphoria and euphoria in both masculine and feminine presentations at different times, depending on the way you feel on that day, week, month or year.
a professional queer jew's blog: Helpful LGBT Jewish Terms
Be’chol Lashon
Advocating for the diversity that has characterized the Jewish people throughout history, and through contemporary forces including intermarriage, conversion and adoption is a 501 (c)(3) nonprofit organization called Be’chol Lashon meaning In Every Tongue in Hebrew. They are a research, outreach and community building initiative of the Institute for Jewish & Community Research (EIN 94-3307253 NTEE T and T70) and they serve as a central clearinghouse for ideas, programs, and organizational collaboration that works to grow and strengthen the Jewish people through ethnic, cultural, and racial inclusiveness.
Keshet (Rainbow)
The word Keshet means rainbow in Hebrew but it is also the name of a 501 (c)(3) nonprofit organization based in three locations the Greater Boston Area, the San Francisco Bay Area, and the Greater Denver Area. Founded in 2003 (EIN 481278664 NTEE R and R26) with a mission to ensure that gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender Jews are fully included in all parts of the Jewish community. Keshet offers social and cultural events for GLBT families and individuals. Nationally, Keshet works for change by offering support, training, grassroots organizing, technical assistance and resources to create a Jewish community that welcomes, includes and affirms GLBT Jews.
Read the whole list here
How Gay Rights is Nothing like Legalizing Bestiality
^SEE PHOTOS with FULL DESCRIPTION^
Adam and Evelyn: They are both adults capable of making decisions; they are capable and can give consent. They are both US citizens and the government will recognize their marriage.
Adam and Steve: They are both adults capable of making decisions; they are capable and can give consent. They are both US citizens and the government will not recognize their marriage.
This is inequality…below examples are not.
Adam and his toaster: Adam is an adult capable of making decisions. Toasters are not capable of making decisions. Adam doesn’t get to give consent twice just because he owns the toaster. (Also, toasters can’t sign a marriage license).
Additional examples not like gay rights examples…
Billy: Billy is a 10 year old boy. He can not legally give consent or make life-altering decisions. He may feel love, but is not yet an adult. (Billy can’t legally sign a marriage license).
A Corpse: It much like the toaster cannot make decisions or give consent. It may have once been a US citizen but it is no longer. (A corpse can’t sign a marriage license).
A Dog: It could possibly feel love the way we do. However, it isn’t aware of its decisions. It can’t consent and is not a US citizen. (A dog can’t sign a marriage license).
