Sexuality, Women, and LGBT Concerns

I think you need to sit down and be honest with her, when you’re ready, but I think the sooner, the better. You need to tell her why you told her that you were bi, even though you knew you were a lesbian. And you need to explain to her that gay and lesbian couples can have children and have a family, just like anyone else. Tell her that even straight couples who are infertile can have babies and it doesn’t make them any less of a family. Talk about the different ways gay and lesbian couples can have children. Educate her. (Do some research first and have websites etc. to show her). But if you have no intention of ever having kids, I don’t think you have to tell her that just yet. First, I don’t know how old you are, but you might change your mind about whether or not you want kids. A future partner might also change your mind. Second, I don’t think it’s necessarily your responsibility to tell your parents that you don’t want kids (if you don’t) at this time just because you wanted to come out to her. One thing at a time, I say.

Also, I too was asked by my mother and my sister when I came out as bi if I was really gay, and even one of my sister’s lesbian friends as me that when I first met her (6 years after first coming out). It’s a shitty question for bisexuals to get, because you still question whether or not they believe you when you say “no, I’m bi.” I sort of understand the reason why some gay and lesbian people say it, but I wish you would stop acting like being bisexual is somehow a cushion before the blow of admitting that you’re gay. I’m not gay, and I still wonder what people think about my sexual orientation and it doesn’t feel very coushiony. I think anything is a cushion as long as it’s not true, but close enough to the truth. (I said to myself, in my head, that I was gay, before I came out, but it only made me feel better because I knew it wasn’t the truth, it was just close to the truth…admitting to myself that I was bisexual was much more scary because then I would have to face my reality.)

Source: queersecrets